Have you ever felt that your emotions were better off bottled up rather than spewed onto someone else’s lap? On many occasions, I have had some serious breakdowns from doing just that. Funny thing is- I usually found myself alone during those times. But mind you- it was certainly by choice.
Now to all of my religious people: I know that God is always there for me; but I’m human and I have doubts every now and again. Sometimes I’m impatient and want quicker answers. Don’t worry though- He and I have already discussed this. It’s definitely a work in progress.
Personally, I just feel more comfortable fixing someone else’s issues than confronting my own- especially in the presence of another person. To be THAT vulnerable actually scares the hell out of me. It’s probably one of the many reasons as to why this chick is still single; but I digress. 🙃
It also doesn’t help that I was raised in a family where repressing and concealing our emotions about all the sappy stuff was normal. I have never even heard my grandmother say, “I love you.” It’s just really not her thing. Nevertheless, her actions have filled the void over the years.
On the other hand, I know I can’t possibly be the only someone who struggles with this. I mean I usually turn to music, writing and reading to cope. But I think it’d be better to find at least one person to confide in and release myself of that toxic buildup. It’s unhealthy and quite dangerous. Hence the reason for my therapy consideration. Once I can actually afford it- I think it would be extremely beneficial.
And you know what- that doesn’t make me crazy or mentally unstable. It just means that I can admit to sometimes needing assistance with reorganizing my thoughts and reshifting my focus.
Some may feel that crying helps. Now, it might settle things for that particular moment; but if you’re anything like me- you should find the courage to seek outside help. I promise you- it’s perfectly normal.